Slut Shaming (Yikes)

This is another controversial topic. I’m going to give my brief and very simple opinion on the issue, if you disagree feel free to start your own blog and share your thoughts there.

I’ve always had mixed thoughts on slut shaming. For starters, I’ve been slut shamed since I was in 6th grade. That’s 11 years old I think. That’s ridiculous. I lost most of my “close friends” because they slut shamed me. They talked and plotted behind my back; this is where my anxiety about people whispering in front of me stems from. I remember a group of the girls, in 7th or 8th grade asked if I would flirt with a boy their friend was dating so the two would break up. *puke* I remember in 8th grade being compared to a stripper and being told I would be a MILF when I grew up.

I’m married now and I still feel like people slut shame me. I don’t know if slut shame is the right term. I feel like people still think I’m a whore, even 5 years after I stopped partying. Partying at 15 years old, is that just a Mennonite thing? Maybe I should name this blog Why I’m Not a Whore and My Sex Life was Never Your Business.

I’m that story of a young girl who has daddy issues because her father wasn’t part of her life growing up and tried to fill that void with a boy. I was very vulnerable as the story goes and tried to find “men’s” respect by doing stupid things, like sleeping with them and smoking lots of pot. I didn’t know until I started seeing a counselor last year, that how I lost my virginity is, by law considered sexual assault. But I was 15 and no longer a virgin so I was a slut by everyone else’s terms. There were consensual relationships after that, and nonconsensual. But it didn’t matter because I was a whore… Why? Because I had sex? Because I enjoyed it? Because I was raped? Because he was a Youth Leader? I don’t think any of those things mean I’m a whore. (It’s taken years of counselling and Amy Schumer to be able to tell myself that.)

The world will judge you, so do what you want, they will have something to say either way. I’m sure you’ve read something to this effect if you have Facebook. I think this is true in how you dress. If you’re entirely covered like people in some cultures and religions or you like your Daisy Duke shorts someone will always complain. I don’t think how you dress should influence if you were “asking for it” if you’ve been the victim of sexual assault. If a woman dresses revealingly isn’t not an invitation to touch or stare or call her a slut. They only time I think a woman should be required to dress a certain way is to look respectable in work or school. Men are required to meet a dress code and women should be held equally accountable. For example, the TV show Suits, both the men and woman are very attractive, and they don’t flaunt their figures to be seen that way.

Now go to be the beach in a double push of bikini top if you want, and walk the streets in shorts that are less than shorts. That’s your body, it’s for no one else to judge. I watch Trisha Paytas on YouTube; actually, I follow her on all Social Media platforms I have. She’s beautiful and great at marketing herself, she knows business and is incredibly successful. She is slut shamed daily because of how she dresses. [Did you know, not too long ago woman had their boobs out in public and it was considered insulting if she covered up around you?]

Now people change, and maybe I could try and be friends with these people who bullied me and still came to my house parties, but I don’t think it’s worth my time. I’ve been excluded most of my life and have had my name blacked out of signing walls, classically replaced by the word whore, I’ve been slut shamed from party goers and youth group goers. I’ve pretty much done it all, and I have realized I have nothing to prove to anyone. I don’t have to prove I’m not a whore, I don’t have to prove that you were wrong. I’ve made the conscious decision not to have these people in my life anymore. So, slut shame if it makes you feel better, I will no longer be listening.

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