So here was an interesting little hurtle I had to overcome a few days ago. All the moving and getting the house live-able (and our own) has been a constant piece of work. Jake and I were always doing something whether that was painting or washing the floors; we had been more on the move recently than we had been in a long while. Jake stepped on the scale once the house projects started scaling down, out of curiosity I’m sure; to be greeted with a 15lb weight loss surprise. How exciting! I was eager to step on the scale as well, to see how much weight I had lost. I told Jake if my weight was over XXXlbs not to tell me and I would live in ignorance of my gravitational pull to the Earth. I stepped on the scale thinking I must have lost at least 5lbs, wouldn’t that be the boost I needed to start eating healthier and working out more religiously. “Alright, step down” I heard him say over my should. I thought my weight had been read, and because he didn’t tell my not to look at the scale it must have been good news.
I had gained another 8lbs.
I didn’t talk for a solid 3 hours after. I didn’t cry, although I might have lost a pound or two if I had, considering how heavy my heart felt. I could not be 170lbs. I was only 158 like a month ago, and baseball hadn’t been over for that long that I would be gaining weight again. Not to mention I had lost weight this summer, I know I did. So how, the day after summer is over am I gaining weight again.
My poor little soul. Obviously, the only way to get over this weight gain episode was to pull out my Ben & Jerry’s and have a few scoops until the coolness of the ice cream froze over my aching heart. It worked and I no longer felt upset about the weight I had gained. I proceeded to go the bedroom and hike my shorts up so the waistband was in the dip in my sides, I pushed my chest a little more forward and my shoulders back and I was determined I would take a photo to prove to myself I could look just as sexy and beautiful, whether I was 158lbs or 170lbs.
At the end of my little mission, I was satisfied having done what we all do when we take photos for IG; I posed and positioned everything so that my body and life looked perfect. No one would know I had an internal meltdown a few hours prior and that the only way I got through it was, again indulging in the very thing that was probably contributing to my weight gain. I put on my sexy face and no one would know the reason behind the photo.
I’m better now. Consider the hurtle overcome. I never ended up posting the photo because this was an accomplishment I wanted to keep to myself. This was for me.
NO MATTER YOUR WEIGHT; YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, WORTHY, and LOVABLE