My Flaws

We all have things about ourselves that we don’t like. I mean about our physical appearance. I know I do. In fact; just as Anna Faris in her new book Unqualified, I have taken the time to put them into a list for you. Why am I doing this? Good enough question. I have gained a significant amount of weight in the recent little while; however, I am still fairly tall; gaining weight obviously doesn’t affect your height. But when I complain about the weight or mention it; I often get shut down with remarks like; “Oh you still look so skinny though”, and, “what you’re a size 10?”. It’s hard to acknowledge the aspects of yourself that you don’t like if no one is letting you and instead putting a band-aid over your issue. I think it is important to know the aspects of yourself you don’t like. Not to dwell on them, but possibly to find the root cause of where this dislike came from and if it’s something you can work on; all the more motivation to do that.

For me; I have always disliked how large me cheeks were. even when I had an eating disorder and weighed almost as little as 130 lbs, which was not healthy for me at all. I still had huge chipmunk cheeks. My face shape resembles that of a Powerpuff Girl. Nice and round. I have reason to believe I’ll never get over this, but I have been told the roundness of my face does make me look something like a Disney princess; and I can get behind that. I don’t think my face was ever a really large issue to me until selfies; like most people after the selfie we became our own worst critics. Speaking of my face and things I wish I could change; my lips. They are thin and small. In the world of Kylie Kardashians that is the opposite of hot. I’ve come to accept my lips though because I don’t think I take myself seriously enough to actually want to be hot. Also, I have been using the Too Faced Lip Injection Extreme and it has helped to lump up my lips. Lastly on my face (I’m going to stop your right here and let you know I love my face; I think I have a beautiful canvas to paint on [make up] and that’s one of my favorite hobbies so it works out perfect. At the end of the day I know I am beautiful and I’m beyond blessed with my cute-round face) … I’m not even going to get to the last point, I like my face and that’s all I want to say on that.

A really big insecurity I had to get over was my hands. I have always had large hands and I remember specifically in guitar class in grade 10 my partner in the class generously pointed it out to me. “Wow Eva; you have man-hands” thanks…. that’s what every young girl wants to hear. So yes, I do have large hands and large knuckles, my mom would tell you that’s from years of cracking them, but I don’t know if that’s true. I have German hands, which makes sense because that’s my background. But at the end of the day my hands still feel small and fairy-like in Jake’s hands and that’s what matters most to me. Jake has for-real man hands.

Oh! my height. Like I may have previously stated I am 5’9″ (almost 5’10”) so I am taller than the average man in our beautiful country (5’8″). That being said I have found it awkward for me to interact with other people. I feel like I’m a leaning giant and don’t really know how to stand or sit in a way that I don’t feel like I’m a huge unproportioned shadow towering over people. But again, Jake is taller than me and makes me feel like the small little drama queen I am when he hugs me. (Maybe I’m vain in wanting a man that is larger than me, but we all have out standards and interests, if you’re giving me a hard time; give me a break.)

Obvious lesson to be learnt is that no one is perfect, and all have aspects of ourselves that we see as flaws and that’s okay. We are not made to be perfect, we are only human. Lord willing when we all grow old and our looks have faded into a new beauty we will see that wisdom and courage; strength and dignity are really the most treasured and beautiful traits of all.

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